No matter what happens, I've made up my mind: I will serve God. With everything in me, I will follow Him. Some days may be good, and others might stink, but I'm not quitting.
The devil would love to have a hold on my mind, and maybe he can. But he can't hold Jesus' mind down. I wanna take on the mind of Christ, the mind that says "Not my will, but Your will be done." My own] will can't get me ANYWHERE. I will surely fail without Christ. There's a big, eternity-shaped hole in my heart, and only God can fit there. When he's gone, I am so lost. I have no cause or purpose. I have no reason to persevere through life. With no purpose, why would I even want to live? My carnal desires are only temporarily fulfilling, but the God's will is for us to have ETERNAL life. Life and happiness that breaks the time barrier, and goes to where God is: outside of time.
I know this blog is already going all over the place, but I want to share something that happened to me earlier this year, before summer had even kicked in.
I had a dream that I was sitting in my living room and telling someone a Biblical truth, one that at the time I didn't fully understand. I turned to that person and said: "Jesus didn't come just to be the sacrifice, but He came to be the high priest also-"
At this point my dream was interrupted. I awoke into a panic attack. I was paralyzed for but a moment, prayed in the name of Jesus, and it stopped. I went back to sleep, and the next day, I completely forgotten it had happened.
The next night the same thing happened. I woke up into what I believe was some sort of demonic attack. I couldn't say the name of Jesus with my mouth, but my heart screamed it out. I got up and started praying. I realized that if I was having the same dream 2 nights in a row, it was probably something important. Also, I knew exactly where to find what I was talking about in my dream in my Bible. I remembered that the book of Hebrews talked about Jesus being our high priest. I hadn't taken much note of it the first time I had read it.
Anyway, I went to the kitchen and opened the Bible to the book of Hebrews. I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly while I read it. Tears were streaming down my face. Honestly, I don't cry a lot. It's not a macho thing or anything; I just have a hard time crying. That night I wept at the kitchen table. God was opening my understanding of Jesus. I was beginning to have a revelation of who He really was. Earlier in the year I had struggled with doubts, and strange doctrines that I had come across while venturing on the internet. Since that night, I haven't had trouble believing that the Word of God is true, and that Jesus is the messiah. It is so plain and perfect in the Word of God.
God came to fulfill the law. He did it by playing all the parts that needed to be played Himself. He became a man, lived perfectly, and offered Himself as the sacrifice.
I have a perfect Savior. A blameless sacrifice that endured my pain for me. A sympathetic high priest who is fully qualified for the job. God played the part of the high priest, the sacrificial lamb, and the God to whom the sacrifice was made simultaneously. Wow. That's deep.
Hope this blog helped minister to someone,
-Larry
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Burnout?
Here's something that's been on my mind for the last few days.
When I first was saved and filled with the Holy Ghost, I was extremely fired up. I was feeling conviction like I never had before. I was dreaming dreams, and seeing the world with new eyes. Out of the instinct of the Spirit I desired to be holy, and every time I got around worldly things (music, movies, etc.) I felt a strong tug in my chest, telling me to stay away. I had no trouble connecting with God at all. I also was met with tension by people that I know, and I'll never forget what someone told me.
"Everyone feels like that when they first get the Holy Ghost, but it'll burn out eventually."
That was not what I wanted to hear. It made me angry that someone would say that. I knew what I felt, and that I needed to do something. Paul didn't just "burn out" after he was saved! He went right out to preaching the gospel! When Jesus called the disciples, he never said "Deny yourself, take up your cross, and stay right where you are until you fall!."
What had been said was unbiblical.
A month passed, and sure enough, the fire was beginning to fade. I held on, though. I kept trying to fuel the fire, although my past was creeping up on me. The resistance was growing. Somehow, God kept me through all that was happening, through my own failures, through my doubts. He held me. He's held on to me until where I am now.
Anyway, here's what I believe God has been showing me: Burnout is not the will of God.
The initial fire of the Holy Ghost is never meant to burn out, or fade. The passion and boldness that often comes with getting saved is from God. God wouldn't give you boldness unless he wanted you to be bold, right? Why are we empowered by the Holy Ghost? To do something.
How did the church in the book of Acts grow so fast? By chapter 4, there were at least 5,000 people. Woah. That's major church growth. Maybe it's because the people of God turned right around and shared the love that God had given them with others.
Remember the parable of the talents (Matt. 25:14-28)? Three servants were given a number of talents. One was given 5 talents, another was given 2, and the last received only 1 talent (from what I have read in a Bible footnote, a talent is worth more than a thousand dollars.)
v16-"Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents."
When I first was saved and filled with the Holy Ghost, I was extremely fired up. I was feeling conviction like I never had before. I was dreaming dreams, and seeing the world with new eyes. Out of the instinct of the Spirit I desired to be holy, and every time I got around worldly things (music, movies, etc.) I felt a strong tug in my chest, telling me to stay away. I had no trouble connecting with God at all. I also was met with tension by people that I know, and I'll never forget what someone told me.
"Everyone feels like that when they first get the Holy Ghost, but it'll burn out eventually."
That was not what I wanted to hear. It made me angry that someone would say that. I knew what I felt, and that I needed to do something. Paul didn't just "burn out" after he was saved! He went right out to preaching the gospel! When Jesus called the disciples, he never said "Deny yourself, take up your cross, and stay right where you are until you fall!."
What had been said was unbiblical.
A month passed, and sure enough, the fire was beginning to fade. I held on, though. I kept trying to fuel the fire, although my past was creeping up on me. The resistance was growing. Somehow, God kept me through all that was happening, through my own failures, through my doubts. He held me. He's held on to me until where I am now.
Anyway, here's what I believe God has been showing me: Burnout is not the will of God.
The initial fire of the Holy Ghost is never meant to burn out, or fade. The passion and boldness that often comes with getting saved is from God. God wouldn't give you boldness unless he wanted you to be bold, right? Why are we empowered by the Holy Ghost? To do something.
How did the church in the book of Acts grow so fast? By chapter 4, there were at least 5,000 people. Woah. That's major church growth. Maybe it's because the people of God turned right around and shared the love that God had given them with others.
Remember the parable of the talents (Matt. 25:14-28)? Three servants were given a number of talents. One was given 5 talents, another was given 2, and the last received only 1 talent (from what I have read in a Bible footnote, a talent is worth more than a thousand dollars.)
v16-"Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents."
v17-"And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two."
So the first two servants went and used the talents they were given to double what the master had originally given them.
v18-"But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money."
The last servant did nothing with his portion of his master's money. Let's look at the outcome of this parable:
v19-"After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.
v20-And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
v21-His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
v 22He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
v23His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
v24Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:
v25And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.
v26His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:
v27Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
v28Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.
v29For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
v30And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
So the one who did nothing with what he was given was punished, and what he had was taken away. Woah. That stinks. But it's the Word of God. This is a part of how the kingdom of God works.
If God gives us the Holy Ghost, doesn't he want us to share it? When He comes back, what will you have to show of what God gave you? Will you have given forth fruit? Or will you have no profit? I want to have something to present to God at His return. I don't want to be there on judgment day with nothing but bad works in the account of my life. We aren't saved by works, but by faith, however faith without works is dead. How does this all tie in with burnout? If we don't get out there and act on our faith, if we don't direct the fire somehow, it will burn out. If you put a pot over a candle, the candle will burn out because no oxygen will be able to fuel the fire! So the Bible says to let your light shine! Don't cover it up, let it shine through the darkness!
So, maybe I got a little off topic there, but hopefully this was able to minister to someone.
Praise God
-Larry
Monday, November 17, 2008
My Experience Involving Plumbing and Trusting God
Over the last few weeks God has been moving me to step out of my usual relationship with him and give Him my all.
I woke up today with my heart set on serving God with everything in me, and by noon I was feeling rather depressed.
By a rather stupid mishap, I had dumped some pasta sauce into the bathroom sink (I know that makes absolutely no sense to you, but random details that I won't go over now for the sake of keeping this short are involved.)
For some reason I didn't realize that there were chunks of tomatoes in the sauce. As you can imagine, chunks of tomatoes aren't a good thing to drain in your bathroom sink.
Soon I realized that the sink was clogged. Hoo boy. The complete stupidity of what I had just done began to sink in. I rushed to find the plunger. It was in the other bathroom, which someone had locked and shut accidentally. There was no way in. Great, I thought. I found a bobby pin and started trying to pick the lock.
We live in an old house, with old doors, and you guessed it, old locks. Old locks are not easy to pick, my friends. In fact, my little bro Andrew, who is notorious for being able to pick household locks, was unable to pick this door the last time someone had locked it on accident.
After praying for help, and at least 30 minutes of failure, not to mention a nearly broken bobby pin, I opened the door. Whew! Inside the bathroom I found the plunger that belonged in the other bathroom.
So I plunged. And I plunged. And I plunged a little more. This went on for hours. Eventually I realized that my plunging was making the nasty sauce-water come up through the drain of the other sink. Great, great, great. Mom would be home soon. I was prepared to die when she found out what I had done, and that I could not remedy the problem. I remember praying a number of times throughout the whole experience, God, help me pleeeeeeeease. I know it's my fault but seriously I can't do this on my own!
She showed up, and I was still working on a way to fix the problem. She was pretty mad, but I assured her that I would fix it somehow. I ended up having to resort to using the snake. In case you don't know, a "snake" is a rather tedious plumbing tool used to unclog pipes. It is called a snake because it is usually pretty long and, with your help, it "wriggles" down your pipes and breaks up or pushes out whatever is causing the clogging. Needless to say, it's a pain to use.
After hours more of dissembling the pipes under the sink, spraying nasty water all over the bathroom, and attempting to snake out the cloggage, I was still nowhere in terms of fixing the problem. I couldn't even get the snake to go down the right tube! In case you don't know, I'm not the best plumber on the block. My time on the whole project now totaled around 4-5 hours. I gave up. It seemed so out of my control.
My mom was mad, and Dad had to come home from work eventually. I was worried that the problem would turn out to be serious and end up costing money.
After hours of being pretty depressed (no jokes, i almost cried) I realized how stupid it was to be so sad over something that wasn't really so big. Looking back I can't believe I was so torn up over it, it was a little out of character for me. It wasn't like this was somehow going to ruin my life! I might have had to deal with the short term consequences for my foolishness, but in a year I probably would have forgotten it even happened!
I had kept on telling God that I trusted Him with the situation all day, but did I really believe it? In my spirit, yeah, but I was confessing what my flesh was feeling: that the day had been lousy! My twitter status comment detailed the conflict in my heart: "GOD IS GOOD! =) But life is rather lousy today!"
While talking to my sister, I sarcastically commented that today had been a really good day. "Are you serious, or joking?" She asked. Actually, just by joking about it and saying that, I felt a thousand times better. It was at that point that I really turned the day to God. I wasn't afraid of what would happen next anymore. I realized that He would carry me through it. My faith had increased!
Dad got home. He was mad, but not as mad as I had expected. He gave me a little advice on how to get the snake to work for me. At this point, I was ready to stay there all night if I had to. The sink had to be fixed, and my God would be with me. To my surprise, snaking it was really easy this time around. Hallelujah! In under an hour the bathroom was as good as new, or at least as good as it was before I jacked it up.
I'm so thankful right now for the way God stuck with me when I was distraught.
So you're thinking, who gets so caught up over a broken sink?
I agree, the whole thing was pretty dumb, but turned it around as a faith building experience for me, and I learned how to better trust God in a trial.
Praise God!
-Larry
I woke up today with my heart set on serving God with everything in me, and by noon I was feeling rather depressed.
By a rather stupid mishap, I had dumped some pasta sauce into the bathroom sink (I know that makes absolutely no sense to you, but random details that I won't go over now for the sake of keeping this short are involved.)
For some reason I didn't realize that there were chunks of tomatoes in the sauce. As you can imagine, chunks of tomatoes aren't a good thing to drain in your bathroom sink.
Soon I realized that the sink was clogged. Hoo boy. The complete stupidity of what I had just done began to sink in. I rushed to find the plunger. It was in the other bathroom, which someone had locked and shut accidentally. There was no way in. Great, I thought. I found a bobby pin and started trying to pick the lock.
We live in an old house, with old doors, and you guessed it, old locks. Old locks are not easy to pick, my friends. In fact, my little bro Andrew, who is notorious for being able to pick household locks, was unable to pick this door the last time someone had locked it on accident.
After praying for help, and at least 30 minutes of failure, not to mention a nearly broken bobby pin, I opened the door. Whew! Inside the bathroom I found the plunger that belonged in the other bathroom.
So I plunged. And I plunged. And I plunged a little more. This went on for hours. Eventually I realized that my plunging was making the nasty sauce-water come up through the drain of the other sink. Great, great, great. Mom would be home soon. I was prepared to die when she found out what I had done, and that I could not remedy the problem. I remember praying a number of times throughout the whole experience, God, help me pleeeeeeeease. I know it's my fault but seriously I can't do this on my own!
She showed up, and I was still working on a way to fix the problem. She was pretty mad, but I assured her that I would fix it somehow. I ended up having to resort to using the snake. In case you don't know, a "snake" is a rather tedious plumbing tool used to unclog pipes. It is called a snake because it is usually pretty long and, with your help, it "wriggles" down your pipes and breaks up or pushes out whatever is causing the clogging. Needless to say, it's a pain to use.
After hours more of dissembling the pipes under the sink, spraying nasty water all over the bathroom, and attempting to snake out the cloggage, I was still nowhere in terms of fixing the problem. I couldn't even get the snake to go down the right tube! In case you don't know, I'm not the best plumber on the block. My time on the whole project now totaled around 4-5 hours. I gave up. It seemed so out of my control.
My mom was mad, and Dad had to come home from work eventually. I was worried that the problem would turn out to be serious and end up costing money.
After hours of being pretty depressed (no jokes, i almost cried) I realized how stupid it was to be so sad over something that wasn't really so big. Looking back I can't believe I was so torn up over it, it was a little out of character for me. It wasn't like this was somehow going to ruin my life! I might have had to deal with the short term consequences for my foolishness, but in a year I probably would have forgotten it even happened!
I had kept on telling God that I trusted Him with the situation all day, but did I really believe it? In my spirit, yeah, but I was confessing what my flesh was feeling: that the day had been lousy! My twitter status comment detailed the conflict in my heart: "GOD IS GOOD! =) But life is rather lousy today!"
While talking to my sister, I sarcastically commented that today had been a really good day. "Are you serious, or joking?" She asked. Actually, just by joking about it and saying that, I felt a thousand times better. It was at that point that I really turned the day to God. I wasn't afraid of what would happen next anymore. I realized that He would carry me through it. My faith had increased!
Dad got home. He was mad, but not as mad as I had expected. He gave me a little advice on how to get the snake to work for me. At this point, I was ready to stay there all night if I had to. The sink had to be fixed, and my God would be with me. To my surprise, snaking it was really easy this time around. Hallelujah! In under an hour the bathroom was as good as new, or at least as good as it was before I jacked it up.
I'm so thankful right now for the way God stuck with me when I was distraught.
So you're thinking, who gets so caught up over a broken sink?
I agree, the whole thing was pretty dumb, but turned it around as a faith building experience for me, and I learned how to better trust God in a trial.
Praise God!
-Larry
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Reconciliation
There is something absolutely wonderful about the fact that God in Jesus came with the purpose of reconciling us to Him!
Jesus came and endured the cross. Why? To take us BACK!!
He didn't come just to get to know mankind for the first time, but he wanted to renew what we threw away.
We tossed it out, friend, but He picked us up and said "Let's fix things. Let's know each other. I LOVE YOU more than I hate your sin."
Whoooo, that's powerful. Jesus bled and died just to pull me from my mess of muck and grime. MY mess. HIS sacrifice. But he didn't do it just for the sake of doing it. He wanted to know me and you. He wants to talk to us. He wants us to share His Word with the rest of the world.
We messed up, but he did the reconciling. He chose to do our part because He saw that we were stuck in the sin cycle. We
I was thinking of the lyrics to Free Chapel's "Moving Forward." One line goes like this: "You make all things new, I will follow you forward."
Forward, friends. Put off the old man (flesh) and put on the Spirit man and the fruits of the Spirit. WE ARE FREE if we have received His Spirit and been washed in the blood of the spotless lamb. As soon as Satan convinces us that we are stuck in a rut and can't move on, we become stuck in an "imaginary rut" so to speak.
We are only as bound as we choose to believe. If you feel like there has been an attack on your mind lately, and you are wondering how you are going to get out of the place you are at, don't hesitate to get on your knees and pray. Thank the Lord for His grace, repent, and MOVE FORWARD.
I've decided to move forward, and I invite anyone reading this to join me.
P.S. - If you've never met Jesus, I beckon you to pray right where you are that God would lead you to salvation.
Acts 2:38 - "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."
John 3:3-5(boldness mine) - "(3)Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
(4)Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
(5)Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God."
Praise God!
-Larry
Jesus came and endured the cross. Why? To take us BACK!!
He didn't come just to get to know mankind for the first time, but he wanted to renew what we threw away.
We tossed it out, friend, but He picked us up and said "Let's fix things. Let's know each other. I LOVE YOU more than I hate your sin."
Whoooo, that's powerful. Jesus bled and died just to pull me from my mess of muck and grime. MY mess. HIS sacrifice. But he didn't do it just for the sake of doing it. He wanted to know me and you. He wants to talk to us. He wants us to share His Word with the rest of the world.
We messed up, but he did the reconciling. He chose to do our part because He saw that we were stuck in the sin cycle. We
I was thinking of the lyrics to Free Chapel's "Moving Forward." One line goes like this: "You make all things new, I will follow you forward."
Forward, friends. Put off the old man (flesh) and put on the Spirit man and the fruits of the Spirit. WE ARE FREE if we have received His Spirit and been washed in the blood of the spotless lamb. As soon as Satan convinces us that we are stuck in a rut and can't move on, we become stuck in an "imaginary rut" so to speak.
We are only as bound as we choose to believe. If you feel like there has been an attack on your mind lately, and you are wondering how you are going to get out of the place you are at, don't hesitate to get on your knees and pray. Thank the Lord for His grace, repent, and MOVE FORWARD.
I've decided to move forward, and I invite anyone reading this to join me.
P.S. - If you've never met Jesus, I beckon you to pray right where you are that God would lead you to salvation.
Acts 2:38 - "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."
John 3:3-5(boldness mine) - "(3)Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
(4)Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
(5)Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God."
Praise God!
-Larry
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